We all know that friendships – like flowers – require nurturing. They need love and attention or they can go to seed. But is accepting that a friendship is over – or was never actually on your level from the start – such a bad thing?
A pal of mine has coined a phrase for this concept: ‘WEEDING YOUR FRIENDSHIP GARDEN’. TBH, its a bit of a controversial one isn’t it? After all, it infers that you are adopting a proactive strategy – picking and choosing which relationships to cultivate & nurture whilst neglecting the rest. Some might argue it’s also rather, well, selfish.
BUT, in this world of social-media led living is it such a bad thing to be devoted only to those who ACTUALLY enrich your life? I find it’s all too easy – now its mode du jour to be accessible 24/7 – to quite literally spread myself too thin. And I don’t know a single person who isn’t juggling an array of time-consuming acquaintances without stopping to think the unthinkable: what’s in this for ME?
Another close buddy has a refreshingly forthright ethos on friendships. Her mantra is: ‘Surround yourself with GOOD ENERGY people’. I thought long and hard about this and what she actually meant and came to the conclusion that – put simply – it suggests you invest your time solely in those who lift you up & make life just that little bit sweeter.
In summary, I guess the older I get the clearer it becomes that time passes fast. So I’m starting to subscribe more to this way of thinking. Can I really be bothered expending efforts entertaining people that I truthfully don’t much care for? My honest answer is NO. It’s not a case of being mean or unfriendly, it’s simply striving to be more conscious when investing my emotions and recognising when a person isn’t bringing ‘light’ to my life.
Against my nature – totally.
Controversial – maybe.
Rewarding – so far! – most certainly.
3 liberating friendship philosophies
1. Don’t doubt yourself – if your instincts tell you someone isn’t a good character fit, stop forcing it.
2. Look for longevity – can you see yourself ‘together’ in ten years time? True friendship will conquer every hurdle life pelts at you.
3. Be brave enough to be selective – when you leave their company do you feel awesome inside? Because you really REALLY should.